Posts Tagged ‘SARK’
People often act intimidated with regard to publishing. People relentlessly believe that publishers don’t need or want them. Publishers exist because of the creative input and outpouring that comes their way…and they appreciate books and writers. Repeating the old story=reinforcing the story=doing nothing new towards being published.
SARK, Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper: Gifting the World with Your Words and Stories and Creating the Time and Energy to Actually Do It
Affirmations-366Days#7-Editors love my content and pay me to publish my work.
For new readers, here’s why I’m committing to writing affirmations during the next 366 days.
This affirmation feels bold. But, why not affirm a truth? Publishers and editors would not exist unless there were writers! I also want to affirm that that editors and publishers love discovering new writers, that’s partly why they are in this business. The possibility of discovering people, whose words they love, is what gets editors to their desks each day.
If you wish to live a self-directed life, you have to change your relationship to time.
–Marney Markidakis, author of Creating Time: Using Creativity to Reinvent the Clock and Reclaim Your Life
In July, I asked readers to take a one question poll and answer the following: What is the biggest obstacle you face in your creative life?
The overwhelming response was ‘finding consistent time to work on projects’. Time is always an issue for creative people.
What’s your story about time? Not the predictable one that you say on autopilot, but the one that is authentic.
We often tell a well-rehearsed story about how little time we have and why we can’t get to our creative work. I find that fear, lack of focus, unwillingness to prioritize (especially if it means we will disappoint someone), and procrastination keeps people locked into a story of ‘time scarcity’.
Here are some questions to help you dig underneath what is perhaps a familiar story:
-What’s something that you love that you never have time to do?
-What do you always make time for that you don’t want to do?
-Where is there ease and richness of time in your life?
-What kind of time does your creative life really need (e.g. daily creating time, dedicated weekend time once a month, a two week retreat)?
What needs to change about your allocation of time in order for your creative project to flourish?
Do you have models of creative people that you know (or have read about), that have inspired you by the way they use time?
These questions can bring to the surface thoughts and feelings about your experience of time and suggest new possibilities about how to use your time. As creative people, we must learn to manage our time and energy like a top level athlete. As author Marney Markidakis says in her wonderful book Creating Time, “the beast of time can never be fully tamed, but it can be disciplined, nourished, and cared for.”
Here are 3 ways to create more time:
1) Schedule it in. Yes, time for your creative project needs to be in your calendar.
Getting your creative projects to migrate from the bottom to the top of your to-do list is no easy feat. Ariel Gore makes this point in her witty book, How to Become a Famous Writer Before You’re Dead. She says that most of us believe that making time for creative work is selfish, so we put it at the end of our to-do lists:
“And then we kick ourselves because the novel isn’t written. We look down at our laps and blush when our writing teacher asks us if we got a chance to write this week. Of course we didn’t get a chance to write—it was the last thing on our list. We had a glass of wine with dinner. We got sleepy. I’m going to tell you something, and it’s something I want you to remember: No one ever does the last thing on their to-do list.”
I write every day. For me, writing every day keeps my momentum going. I typically do an hour of academic writing in the morning and an hour of creative work in the evening throughout the week. My academic writing is scheduled in my calendar. My creative work is scheduled in my calendar. It’s what keeps me sane.
If creating every day doesn’t work for you, find consistent periods of time that do and then schedule them into your calendar.
2) Develop a better reward system. Over the long journey of creating, producing good work becomes its own reward. However, for those of us just starting to pursue a creative path, may need motivation and encouragement to keep saying yes to our projects. Reward systems can be big or small and can be connected to time and/or output. This year is the first year that I have kept an active rewards list for meeting writing goals. About every few weeks, I’m checking that list to see what I have earned. The rewards list can keep me going through the really tough periods where writing doesn’t feel like its going well.
3) Work in smaller blocks of time. Creative people often pine for days of uninterrupted time, but as a coach, I’m often in the position of pointing out to clients that what time they have is not always used well. Creativity expert Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (aka SARK) uses the concept of micromovements to break tasks into manageable segments of 5 seconds to 5 minutes. Very effective! She believes that creative people often assign themselves too big of a task. And, then when they don’t meet that often impossible task, their inner critics come leaping out to point out their lack of completion.
What can you do in smaller bursts of time?
You can do a writing prompt; draw/sketch, assemble your packets of seeds for the beautiful garden you are planning. She refers to micromovements as an ‘ignition system’. Once you are able to get yourself started, you can keep going after the short amount of time is up. Check out her books The Bodacious Book of Succulence and Make Your Creative Dreams Real for lots of information on micromovements technique.
Do you have some favorite ways to create time? I’d love to hear.
No matter how lumpy or faded or boring you feel, your creativity is of value.
Creativity author and mentor, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (aka SARK) has written a lot on inner critics and how they can sabotage our creative work. Inner critics are the sharp-tongued internal voices that often prevent us from writing and/or creating. They speak to us with the seemingly definitive voice of KNOWING ABOUT EVERYTHING CREATIVE. Our inner critics, judges, and evaluators are uninvited guests during our writing sessions. Inner critics usually know how to do just one thing and have long outlived whatever protective role they once had. They won’t leave until we imaginatively assign them a new “job”.
I’ve had great fun reassigning many inner critics to new jobs*. One inner critic was called ‘Relentless Ruthie’ and no matter what I did, according to her, I wasn’t doing it fast or good enough. My accomplishments were only as good as yesterday. She was methodical, meticulous and intense. In dreaming up a new job for her, I wondered where her qualities might be really valued. SARK suggested that Relentless Ruthie would be perfect in being security detail on Air Force One. I agreed! Since being reassigned in my imagination, I haven’t heard a peep from RR in years.
SARK notes that a typical inner critic is the ‘comparer’. This critic is hyper focused on comparing us to others. I’ve been thinking a lot about the role of comparison in one’s creative life and the word COMPARISON.
Have you ever read a novel (or your creative equivalent) and thought, ‘This sucks. I can write SO much better than this’ (and felt quite good and superior about it)? Then, perhaps in the same week, have you ever read a book by a different author and thought, ‘God, I can NEVER write like this. This is brilliant’ (and felt quite inadequate)?
One can go between these extremes in the same week or even day!
A few days ago, I started doodling the word ‘comparison’ and I saw that is has the word PRISON contained in it. This made me think of how often we put our writing/creative selves in prison when we spend too much time comparing. Our job, as creative folk, is not to swing between feeling superior and feeling inadequate, but is to just do the work and honor our own process. Most of the time this is easier said than done! I wondered why I never noticed prison in the word comparison before, but was glad I got the message!
Do you notice when your ‘inner comparer’ gets activated? How do you respond?
*Two wonderful SARK books that have long discussions about (and great exercises for) dealing with inner critics is Make Your Creative Dreams Real: A Plan for Procrastinators, Perfectionists, Busy People, Avoiders and People Who Would Rather Sleep All Day and Prosperity Pie: How to Relax About Money and Everything Else. I highly recommend them.
We all want to feel more grateful. The powerful benefits that stem from a gratitude practice are ones that science now validates and that spiritual traditions have always claimed. More than a decade ago, Oprah introduced us to the idea of keeping a gratitude journal and recently social work researcher, Brené Brown has highlighted the importance of gratitude in her interviews with resilient people. But what gets in the way of practicing gratitude? I’d say grudges. Grudges are often not part of polite conversation. But, in order to become more grateful we have to work on our grudges.
To live a creative life is to encounter frustration, jealousy, envy and to hold grudges. Grudges are a feature in our emotional weather system. They can be deep seated or have happened just yesterday: the biting comment from a trusted mentor that occasionally surfaces, the friend who doesn’t invite you to submit to her ‘zine though she’s invited all your writing buddies , the shopkeeper who says that your greeting card line looks ‘amateurish’. Having grudges is not the problem; it’s how deep they go and how long we hold them. And, that we forget there can be sweet joy in releasing them.
Getting off Grudge Island
In The Bodacious Book of Succulence creativity author Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (aka SARK) talks about a place that many of us reside– the place in our consciousness where we replay, repeat, and sift through old hurts, grudges, resentments, and slights. She imagines this place as Grudge Island. All the inhabitants on the island are stooped over from carrying the weight of their grudges. SARK says that holding grudges “allows us to be right and live in the past” and that they “are companions of struggle and blame.”
In my creativity workshops, I often ask people to describe what their Grudge Island looks like, the nature of their grudges and the length that they’ve hung on to them. After reflecting on this exercise, a participant once exclaimed, “Goodness, I don’t just visit Grudge Island, I’ve built condos there!”
The first time I did this exercise, I started out with two pieces of paper and a pen. I thought, oh, this should only take a few minutes. As I got in touch with recent and old hurts, I found myself reaching for more paper and markers. As I wrote, I began reliving and experiencing the anger, hurt and loss of the events that shaped my grudges.
By the end of the process I had filled 25 pages (front and back) of my grudges and ego wounds! I was indeed a longtime resident on Grudge Island! I held a thirty year grudge against a six grade teacher who had forgotten to give me information so that I could compete in the city wide spelling bee and a fifteen year old grudge against a young man who told me that getting a PhD was useless and would not serve the African American community. I wondered what new energy could emerge from releasing these grudges.
The medical community’s interest in the connection between anger, grudge holding and well- being has increased dramatically over the last decade. Dr. Luskin, director of the Forgiveness Project at Stanford University, has lead pioneering research about how grudge holding affects our capacity to live a thriving life. Dr. Luskin notes, “Dwelling on a past conflict and the damage inflicted by another person, doesn’t hurt them, but it hurts you like heck. They own your nervous system, and they ain’t good landlords.” Studies suggest that grudge-holders tend to be sicker than their peers who are able to release grudges and forgive more quickly. If a person is a chronic grudge holder they can expect more visits to the doctor, cardiovascular disease and gastrointestinal distress.
I decided to destroy my grudge papers. I ripped them into teeny tiny shreds. This felt incredibly satisfying. Then, I began to knead them (also oddly satisfying). I then promptly took my ‘grudge dough’ and dumped the pile in the garbage. After I dumped the grudges, a very calm and peaceful sensation ran through my body. Feeling cleared of these grievances was a powerful return on my time and attention. The funny thing is that now, many years later; I can’t even recall the specifics of most of those grudges.
The more we share about our very human capacity to hold grudges, the more support we can receive for releasing them and experiencing the joy and vitality available to us in every moment. This energy becomes fuel for new creative projects.
Dealing with grudges first, makes way for gratitude.
A version of this article originally appeared on September 25 in The Chapel Hill News.
Photo credits include Thinkstock
Chronic exhaustion is a regular feature of modern life. Summer, however, presents the perfect time for us to slow down and get back in tune with our natural body’s rhythms. Until about a decade ago, I denigrated my body’s need for rest. Now I measure some of my success by my ability to get the rest I need on a consistent basis. And, I routinely advocate for people to explore restorative yoga postures and yoga nidra as powerful tools to experience deep full-body relaxation–which can lead to better sleep. For people who struggle with slowing down, I highly recommend creativity pioneer Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy’s (SARK) Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed: The Ultimate Nap Book. Carol Puchailo, a community health nurse, provides us with simple steps we can take to experience the power of deep rest.
Jump-start Your June: JUMP Back into BED
Ready. Set. Jump into bed! Okay, so you are not asking for world peace at a bed – in like Yoko Ono or John Lennon, but you can find your own personal peace during your precious sleep time. This will give you the most out of life and this summer season. There are some simple steps and over the counter supplements that can assist you to getting a more restful sleep; along with sticking to bedtime routines that repair and rejuvenate your body and increase your daytime energy and vitality to enjoy your June. I know I can use more PEACE in my life. How about you?
The British Columbia Sleep guidelines (2004), places specific emphasis on sleep hygiene (bedtime routines) that assist in improving and maintaining a restful sleep. First, ensure your room is cool and comfortable. If you share a bed with your partner and your bed heats up like a furnace, separate your covers so that you can have individual control over the temperature. It will also help to put up a blackout curtain that reduces light from entering the bedroom. A dark bedroom will help the release of a hormone called melatonin. I will tell you more about this wonderful hormone in a minute. Fact: An adult needs an average of 7-8 hours of sleep per night, and as we age we produce less melatonin and that’s one reason why elderly people sleep less.
Second, ensure that you use your bed only for sleeping and sex. If you were to read, watch T.V. or play Suduko in bed, these activities require a level of mental alertness that you subconsciously link with your peaceful bed and bedroom. So if you must read, watch T.V., or play Suduko then I suggest you leave the bedroom and find a different location and come back to bed only when you are tired. This separation allows your body to know where and when to rest and relax or where to concentrate and have mental alertness.
Third, for seven days of the week you need to wake up at roughly the same time every day since this reinforces your body’s internal clock (Circadian rhythm). Going outside during the day and having the sun shine into your eyes helps to reset your circadian rhythm that will allow your brain to bath in a hormone called melatonin. As I said before, you need a dark room at night time for the release of melatonin to occur. This wonderful sleepy hormone controls many bodily functions including: your sleep wake cycle, your body temperature, enhances your immune function, and it also acts as a free-radical scavenger (looking for cells that are pre-cancerous). There is evidence that suggests melatonin has protective benefits as adequate amounts limit tumor growth (Brezinski, 1997). Now that is an amazing little hormone! I am so grateful that it acts so efficiently, it is just up to me to set the stage.
Melatonin is a precursor (the beginning hormone that becomes serotonin), and only when the lights are off and the room is really dark and cool can it do magical jobs. Have you ever experienced jet lag? Jet lag happens because the internal clock (circadian rhythm) can get out of balance when we travel by plane or if our homes are too brightly lit at night. Too much light will affect when melatonin is released and this alteration changes your sleep pattern. According to Dr. A Brzezinski (1997), a melatonin supplement can be used to help alleviate sleep problems related to a disturbance in the circadian rhythm, and the earlier in the evening it is taken (before air travel for example), the better results you will experience. For example, if you were to take 5 mg of melatonin at 6:00pm before a flight your body would experience less jet lag. You could continue to take that dose at the same time every day for 5 days and this could hasten your symptoms of jet lag, help you feel drowsy and sleep better.
Fourth, to ensure you are ready for a good night’s sleep exercise 4 hours before you go to bed; exercise is best done first thing in the morning, but that is not always possible. Be mindful of timing your exercise routine to maximize your sleep hygiene and experience a more restful sleep. If you love your coffee then you are going to want to drink it 6 hours before bed to ensure it is out of your system and it does not interfere with your sleep.
Last, from my own experience, having a piece of paper and pen at the bedside has given me permission to record dreams that I have or to write about a problem that I am facing. This dream journal gives me a place to write about my night time adventures or to reflect on what my subconscious has to teach me. I look forward to bedtime and writing down what has been revealed to me during my dream time. I will dialogue about what is bothering me and how I have tried to solve it so far, but most amazingly I will ask for specific solutions to my request and be given an answer that I will understand. One of my favorite pastimes is dream interpretation, drop me a line or tell me your dreams.
Here’s hoping you hop into bed happy each night and wake up feeling rested, peaceful and enjoy the summer days ahead.
Carol Puchailo RN, BN and currently working on her Master’s Degree in Nursing to become a Nurse Practitioner. As a community health nurse, she has a rural practice in Manitoba, Canada and one day dreams of opening her very own wellness business. Email her at email@example.com
Primary care management of sleep complaints in adults, (2004). British Colombia Guidelines. http://www.bcguidelines.ca/pdf/sleepcomp.pdf
Amnon, B. (1997). Mechanism of disease: Melatonin in Humans. The New England Journal of medicine, Vol 336 (3), pp. 186-195. Retrieved online http://www.deborahburnett.com/images/uploads/MelatonininHumans.pdf