Posts Tagged ‘inner critics’
I Just Co-Hosted a Podcast!
Posted September 30, 2019
on:I am excited to share my first experience co-hosting a podcast! I love the Writer’s Well: Conversations about writing from craft to wellness podcast with Rachael Herron and J. Thorn. Rachael Herron and J. Thorn are friends and full-time writers and they share observations about the challenges and joys of the writing life. Each person poses a question to the other; it’s an unscripted and fun process. I’ve been listening to them for about two years. I really enjoy how supportive they are of each other and their larger community. The advice they give is invaluable and their warmth and affection for each other is joyous.
I’m in their private, once a month Mastermind group along with author Amy Taksuda. I’ve been in the group three months and like I say on the show, it is the best thing I’ve done for my writing life this year. They coach us on our writing challenges and Amy and I also brainstorm with each other. Our group has got great synergy. We were honored that they asked each of us to co-host an episode, with Rachael, during September while J was traveling. I jumped at the opportunity as I love the show and enjoy speaking on podcasts when I have the opportunity.
Rachael posed the question to me: ‘How does physicality affect your writing?’ True to the show’s format, the question was fresh for me. We talked about yoga, writing routines, swimming, Zumba, staying healthy as a writer, outsmarting your inner critic and more.
Not having the question ahead of time and being spontaneous was a good practice for me. I often over prepare for most engagements and consequently can miss being present with what is actually happening. Don’t we all have control issues, lol? Of course, after the show I thought of all the additional things I wanted to say! But, you can tell from listening to our conversation that is was fresh, lively and surprising to each of us.
She made me feel so welcome. It was so fun and such an honor.
Check it out here when you have a moment!
- In: creative writing | creativity | writing
- 2 Comments
“Meditation is push-ups for the mind.”- Rachael Herron
As some of you know, I’ve been a long-time advocate of meditation. I use meditation as a tool in my life and I have often taught secular meditative techniques to writers.
Clinical research supports the claim that meditation helps to strengthen the mind, increase concentration and slow our thousands of thoughts down. This is so helpful for writers!
Why do meditation techniques work? Because all human minds, despite their great diversity and capabilities feel and experience the same basic emotions that include joy, fear, rage, happiness, sadness, etc. We also tend to experience similar thoughts both positive (‘I’m great!’) and negative (‘I’m horrible!’). We all also get distracted, frustrated and irritated on a routine basis in relatively the same ways (though about different kinds of things).
There lots and lots of meditation styles and techniques out there from a variety of secular and spiritual traditions. You’ve probably heard a lot about a type of meditation called ‘mindfulness’, so let’s start there.
Mindfulness is a practice of maintaining an awareness of your thoughts, feelings and environment in the present moment. Slowing down and paying attention to the present moment allows us to be more available to what’s happening right now, instead of living in the past or racing ahead in the future. Mindfulness also involves getting some distance from your thoughts and mind chatter without judging them.
Cultivating mindfulness can mean focusing on one’s breathing and being quiet.
Mindfulness can support your writing in a few ways:
-Mindfulness can get us back in the body
“Whatever stories we have, they are organically connected to our physical bodies. Cultivating that connection—that pathway between our heads and our bodies—creates deep writing.”
Larraine Herring
Ever have that experience where you don’t know where time went and not in a good way? Ever realize that you’ve been on autopilot and not in the moment? To write well, we have to be connected to the body, our experience, the pain and joy of being alive. Taking a few minutes to recognize we are in a particular place in time and space and we are actually breathing is quite helpful when writing. Sometimes I’m working so intensely, I have hunched my shoulders, clenched my jaw and have tightened up all my muscles. It’s good in that moment to stop, breathe and readjust my body. Mindfulness can open us up to sensations in the body that we tend to ignore. And, indeed in slowing down, we can connect as Herring notes we can open ourselves up to greater bodily knowledge in service of storytelling.
– Contributes to Writerly Equanimity
Mindfulness helps us stay the course. Bad writing day? OK, we all have them…tomorrow will be better. If we have cultivated equanimity, when we hit an impasse in our writing, we’re more likely to be open to tapping our resources (including connecting with writing buddies, groups, etc.,), trying out other techniques (like taking a walk, freewriting) as opposed to thinking we have to solve it all ourselves or because we can’t figure it out, or that we’re bad writers.
–Don’t Worry about What You Can’t Control
Practicing mindfulness allows us to see when negative thoughts arise, but also let them go (especially helpful when trying to write!). It helps us recognize what we can’t control. If we overemphasize what we can’t control, over time that leads to stress. The only thing we can control is what we create, how much we create and over time, the quality of what we create. We also have a say in how we show up and interact with industry professionals. We can’t control an audience’s response to our work, nor the shifting and fickle interests of the publishing industry.
-Quieting the Inner Critic
A practice of mindfulness helps keep us connected to our inner creative self. I don’t know about you but I have gone through cycles of having a very active inner critic. For me, I’m less susceptible to believing the words of my most upsetting and vicious inner critic if I’ve been practicing mindfulness. Also, if I start to have an attack of the inner critic, if I soften my breath and tell myself, OK, I’m going to take a five minutes and watch my thoughts. Do this can give me the perspective I need to return to the work after the five minutes is up.
–Less Easily Distracted
Mindfulness cultivates a resistance to being easily distracted. Practicing mindfulness teaches us about distraction and keeping with something, even when difficult. If we are to succeed as writers, we have to develop both our attention and our intention. Then over time, we become better able to resist the false siren calls of distraction that are always around.
Something to Try:
One easy way to start to practice mindfulness is to start with the breath. You can practice the following before you write. Breathe in and out a few times (breathe in through the nose and exhale through the mouth a few times to get relaxed). Then breathe in through the nose for a count of four, pause for a moment at the top of inhale and gently breathe out through the nose to a count of four (over time you can do a longer exhale to six or eight counts, which tends to relax the nervous system). Continue this breath cycle for a minute or more and then build up to 3 minutes or more.
Don’t try to stop your thoughts, notice them and then keep returning to the breath. Visualize thoughts as passing clouds over your mental landscape.
Another way to practice: You can place one hand over your heart and one hand on your belly and observe your breath. Ask yourself the following questions:
-Where am I breathing? (meaning where do you feel the breath the most—the belly, at the nostrils, in the expanse of the lungs)
-What’s the quality of my breath? (Slow? Shallow? Tight? Rapid)
Observe without judgement and then take a few more deep belly breaths.
You can also begin by pausing to notice your breath for a minute and then the next week, up it to two minutes and so on.
Interested in learning more? I particularly like Dr. Sara Lazar’s Ted Talk about meditation—she is a neuroscientist at Harvard who started studying the brain changes in people who meditated regularly.
There are lots of apps (many are free or at least free for 30 days) and places on line to investigate mindfulness and meditation.
I’d love to hear your experiences with mindfulness or meditative techniques in support of your creativity!
How to Make Good on Your Resolutions for 2018—Bid on a Personal Coaching Session with Me!
Posted December 3, 2017
on:Would you like to have a personal coaching session with me to help support you with your goals in 2018? I’m happy to say it’s possible to have that for a GREAT price and FANTASTIC cause. I have donated an hour of my services to a great nonprofit–Y.O.G.A for Youth, NC. This organization helps to empower at risk young people by teaching them the tools of yoga. This is an organization that I have been involved with and supported in various ways over the past decade.
They have an online auction fundraiser with some incredible items to bid on–including a personal coaching session with me! I’d love to support you with your goals in 2018 related to writing and/or creativity.
I will tailor the one hour coaching session to the needs of the individual. Themes could include: effective goal setting and making good on your resolutions for 2018, how to create ‘smackdab’ in the midst of a busy life, how to create with consistency, passion and purpose, how to recognize and conquer your internal and external saboteurs, how to strengthen a relationship with your creative self, etc.
Check it all out here:
http://www.biddingowl.com/Auction/home.cfm?auctionID=13206
Feel free to pm me with questions or shoot me an email at mtb@creativetickle.com
Want to Make this Last Quarter of the Year Your Best? Join Me on Facebook Live tomorrow at 6:30 EST
Posted October 29, 2016
on:Hi creative peeps,
This is a reminder that I’ll be on Facebook Live tomorrow answering YOUR questions about writing, creativity, how to outmaneuver your inner critics and much MORE. I’ll specifically be offering tips on how to make the last quarter of the year your best. You can ask me ANYTHING! I can’t wait to see you there. Just go to my Facebook page over on the bottom right on this page at 6:30 EST.
See my post here for a few more details about where this idea came from and how important the last quarter of the year is.
How Can You Make the Last Quarter of the Year the BEST for Your Creative Work? Come Join Me On Facebook Live Next Week!
Posted October 24, 2016
on:Hi creative peeps,
We are deep into the last quarter of the year. Wow! It seems like it was just June and I was packing for the beach. A few days ago, I sat down and checked on where I was with my writing goals and creative projects and where I wanted to be by the end of the year. There are several goals that I could see would be met by the end of the year. And, there are a few goals that seem far from their end-of-the year target. I am both daunted and excited about this gap between where I wanted to be in October and where I am. But, there’s also many things that are going extremely well that I couldn’t have predicted in January. And, making that list clarified areas I need to take action in.
You might be in the same situation—wondering how you will make good on some of those plans and promises you made to yourself during the first quarter of the year.
You might be feeling that some of your most important goals are slipping away from you as you look at the calendar and see the end of the year fast approaching. (I don’t think anyone in the U.S. gets much of anything done after Dec 18).
It’s not too late to connect with what you most wanted to accomplish this year with your creative work.
I’ve found a perfect opportunity for me to serve you. I decided to learn Facebook Live so that we could connect about how you can make the last quarter of the year the best!
If you’ve never done Facebook Live it is EASY. You will just go to my Facebook page (on this page, you’ll see the icon to the right toward the bottom of the page—Michele T Berger) at the designated time and I will appear in real time. You can type in questions (please, or else I will just be talking to myself) and I’ll answer them live. Everyone on the page at that time can follow our conversation and join in. It will be FUN!
Next Sunday, Oct 30th at 6:30 pm (EST), I will be on Facebook Live answering YOUR questions.
You can ask me anything about writing, the creative process, etc. I mean ANYTHING. You know I love to provide coaching on how to make more time for your creative life, writer’s block, dealing with inner critics, fear, procrastination, perfectionism, etc., how to submit your work for publication more frequently, etc.
I’ll also share a few tips and resources that are helping me stay on track so I can reach the goals I outlined for myself.
I’d love to see you there. Feel free to go over and ‘like’ my Facebook page now. I’ll also provide reminders about the Facebook Live event during the week.
Mark the date in your calendar—it will be like a free coaching session!
Facebook LIVE: Next Sunday, Oct 30th at 6:30 pm (EST)! I’ll stay on about a half hour, or until there aren’t any more questions.
Affirmations-366Days#107
Posted April 17, 2016
on:- In: creative writing | creativity | writing
- 2 Comments
Affirmations-366Days#107: I remind myself that feeling unworthy doesn’t help my writing. I keep showing up to the page, no matter what my inner critic says.
For new readers, here’s why I’m committing to writing affirmations, about the creative process, during the next 366 days.
Affirmations-366Days#2
Posted January 2, 2016
on:
Affirmations-366Days#2: I claim my creative gifts even in the face of envy, doubt and fatigue.
For new readers, here’s why I’m committing to writing affirmations during the next 366 days.
Ever look at the words ‘flailing’ and ‘failing’?
One definition of flail is ‘to wave or swing vigorously; thrash’. The word flail always reminds me of Grover from Sesame Street with his blue arms up in the air running around, being dramatic.
Writing often feels easy, until it’s not. We get stuck, hit a bump, and don’t know how to fix it.
I’ve always like the word flail because that is what I feel like I do on the page sometimes when I get stumped.
We can try writing prompts, freewriting, word sprints, delete sections, move the end to the beginning, write six fresh ways to open the essay or story, etc. If we’re being kind to ourselves, we know flailing about in our writing is no big deal. We just keep trying new things.
If our inner critic is awake and cranky, it will tell us that we are ‘failing’. It will tell us that if we were really good writers, we would have figured it out perfectly the first time (or something to this effect). When I was younger, I believed my inner critic(s) and often stopped writing when I got stuck and consequently didn’t finish pieces that I loved.
Now, I know that while flailing on the page looks and feels dramatic, it’s what’s needed to get to the Land of Completion.
Flailing is not failing.
Toni Morrison in her recent interview for the NEA Arts Magazine discusses creative failure and revision. It’s worth a read. Knowing that a great writer like Toni Morrison sometimes has to start over with a piece of writing and go in a different direction is quite comforting. She reminds us that we each have the power to “write and erase and do it over.” And, that there’s no shame in not getting it right the first or fourth time.